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Peer Groups: Forums - Outcasts

 

Outsiders in Your Group

What Makes You an Outcast?

It Can Be Good to Be a Loner

Integrating Outcasts

 

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Copyright: birgitH, PIXELIO / www.pixelio.de

 

Outsiders in Your Group

Is there anyone in your class who is an outsider? Why is he/she, and what do you think about him/her?

In my class there's also an outcast, but me and my friends try to do something with him in the breaks. But he doesn't want to and he's also not a very nice person. He hurts girls and I think that isn't okay. And he cries when we tell him that it isn't okay when he punches others so I think he makes himself an outcast.
H., girl, Germany

In our class last year was one girl – an outsider. It was the first year of the new school and many student knew somebody who was with them in the previous school. And she was from another part of city and she didn't know anybody. But now it is normal, and I hope that will be like that to the end.
E., girl, Poland

In my class is a girl who doesn't want to have friends. Really. Still she screams at everybody, cries, takes offence etc. This is terrible! How can we talk with her?
S., girl, Poland

I think a person is an outsider when he thinks like that. It takes place in your head. And also yourself make people outsiders. When you ignore someone because you don't like them you make them your special outsider. You see only the negative things in him or her. Maybe hours/days/months/years later you change your mind.
S., girl, Germany

 

What Makes You an Outcast?

What makes a person an outcast? Or is it the group that creates outcasts?

I think there are people who don`t want to be in the school group, for example, because they don't like the others, or they are very different from everyone else and make themselves an outcast. It can be the group or themselves, I think.
D., boy, Germany

It's sad, but there are outcasts who are what they are, just because they don't look or behave like the crowd - People, ever heard about individuality?
S., girl, Germany

Sometimes people don't want someone in group because he is different. But what does it mean? Being different isn't bad. This is something that shapes your personality and stands out from others! If someone is "different'' it means that he can express who he is. So I don't understand when groups reject people like these.
E., girl, Poland

I think it depends on the person. In my class is a girl who does not like anybody. We tried many times to make friends with her ​​but we did not succeed.
K, girl, Poland

(in reply to previous post) Anyway, we should be kind with those people and respect them.
R., boy, Spain

In Primary School I was the new person. In the beginning it was difficult. I remember that on my first day one girl shouted, "We have a new girl in class, we really have a new girl!" - She was very scary! But one month after I found "my group" in which I felt good.
E., girl, Poland

 

It Can Be Good to Be a Loner

Can you see positive aspects in being a loner or an outsider?

I think that it's good to have my friends around me but sometimes I need a break. Then I must be alone. I´m a person who thinks a lot (and also can be quiet) and that I can't do if my friends are by my side.
S., girl, Germany

No, I think there are not any positive aspects of being an outsider. I love being with my friends, but as S. said, I need a break sometimes.
Z., girl, Turkey

Yes, I like to have free times for me. Maybe people don't understand what it means to be a loner - it isn't sad. For example, I love writing stories and I need to concentrate so I need be alone. I think being a loner is not so bad.
R., Spain

Sometimes I prefer to walk around by myself to being with others because you have more control over what you do, and you can do what you want. And also it's better if you want to be alone, it gives you more space to think. However, I think you shouldn't spend all your time alone, everyone needs friends.
M., girl, United Kingdom

For a short time yes. Sometime I like to think about everything alone but I can't be alone a long time because I miss my friends very much.
K., girl, Poland

 

Integrating Outcasts

Have you ever made an effort to include an outcast into your group, class, etc.? Did it work? Do you think it's worth trying?

Yes, my friends and I tried to make someone join our clique, but it did't work because he hurt us and made jokes about us and we didn't like it.
S., girl, Germany

Last year, when I started secondary school, I always missed my primary school and didn't speak with anyone in my class. Then, my friends made an effort and I joined their group. We are in different classes now, but we see each other every day and get along.
Z., girl, Turkey

I already tried to accept someone lonely into my gang and I succeeded in. Later this person was very happy.
M., boy, Poland

Yes, I do it often in my team. When we get a new girl I'm often the first person who speaks with them. I am open and try to find something out and then I try to include them with the others. Of course the others do the same but as I said I often take the first step.
S., girl, Germany