Traditions, Values and Young People

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Is Marriage a Waste of Time?

In our Facebook discussion forum which was set up to enable the students involved in the project to discuss important topics, the following questions were asked:

Some people believe that marriage is an expensive and overrated waste of time. What do you think? What are the finer points of marriage? What are the drawbacks?

 

civil wedding ceremony
Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2005-09-02-hochzeit-31.jpg. Copyright: see that page.

 

I don’t think marriage is a waste of time, because it is symbol of love and a big commitment to show the person that you are willing, and it doesn’t always have to be fancy or expensive.
L. (girl), Darlington

I think marriage is totally not overrated and a waste of time, I think it is a way of couples showing that they love each other and that they will make a commitment to stay with each other as long as they live. Sure marriage can be expensive but it is definitely worthwhile. I think marriage is very good because it means you can have a family, with kids and chances are you will be more successful in life. The drawbacks are that you have made a promise to God and your partner that you will both stay together as long as you both live which can sometimes be hard especially when family problems occur and you might want a divorce.
S. (girl), Darlington

I don’t think that marriage is a waste of time this is because it shows your lifelong commitment that you want to give to your partner and Jesus Christ. Getting married is showing your partner that you are willing to settle down and start a family. However there are a few drawbacks that once you have made that promise to your partner and to God it is hard to take back.
H. (girl), Darlington

I think marriage is a waste of because sometimes people brake up and sometimes it can end in a disaster. Plus I don't think a piece of paper makes any difference if you love the person. There are more downsides that positives.
K. (girl), Darlington

I dont think marriage is a waste of time, because it is a big commitment to show you are willing to stay with the person you really want to be with. Also being with the man you want to stay with for the rest of your life means you can have a family and kids because you are not allowed to have sex outside of marriage as a Catholic. It shows your love for your partner and is a test of commitment.
K. (girl), Darlington

I can’t say what is better because I think when you don’t want to be married then that is better, but when people want it then its better when they marry. Nobody can force someone.
D. (girl), Mülheim

I think marriage isn’t wasted time, because when you are in love and you want to be together forever you should marry your partner. A marriage is a wonderful thing. Sure it’s often difficult, most of all when you have family problems. First of all I think a wedding is important, when you want kids and I think it isn’t very good when you have 2 family names. I mean when a woman has a different name than her partner.
L. (girl), Mülheim

I think marriage isn´t a waste of time because it´s a way to let the other one know that you love him when you agree to a wedding.
L. (girl), Mülheim

I think marriage is a waste of time because when you love somebody you don’t have to marry him .It’s expensive and complicated when you divorce. Both can keep their own name. When you are married you don’t divorce fast because it’s official.
C. (boy), Mülheim

I would prefer to marry the one I love, but I wouldn’t force him to this. In my opinion everyone has to decide on his own, if he wants to. It’s also a fact of money. When you just got together, you should wait before you marry.
A. (girl), Mülheim

I think a cohabitation is better than a marriage, because you can do more on your own. And it is easier to separate. My opinion is that it is your own decision what you do, but I would like to marry in a registry office and celebrate after that.
S. (girl), Mülheim

I can’t say what is better because I think when you don’t want to marry, you can leave at any time. But if you marry and you don’t like your partner it’s expensive because you pay for the divorce. Do what you think is better!
M. (girl), Mülheim

I think it’s not a waste of time, because you can have a great time with your partner. Sometimes it can be a waste of time, when you are not happy or you love someone else.
J. (girl), Mülheim

No, I don't think marriage is a waste of time . When you are in love with someone , you often want to marry him/her after a time, because you want to be with your partner for ever. And to be married can be a great time.
A. (girl), Mülheim

We think that marriage is a completely free choice. It's undeniable that it's a bit overvalued, but it's a great memory that lasts for the rest of you life.
Ibi's group

In my personal opinion, anything is a waste of time if you put all yuor soul in it. When we talk about marriage, we talk about staying all your life with the person you love, something really kind ... but sometimes, even when there are lots of love, marriage can become a waste of time ... but not always.
O. (boy), Ibi

In my opinion marriage is a waste of time because you must spend much money for a marriage. And also when you don't get married you can have a family and love them. But for traditional countries like the Ivory Coast e.g. you must get married. When you don't marry you can't have children because society doesn't want "bastards".
I think, marriage isn´t a waste of time, because the alternative - boy- or girlfriend - is, in my opinion, worse than marriage. Boyfriends or girlfriends come and go - husbands and wives stay longer.
M. (boy), Cologne

I'm of the opinion that it isn't so important to marry because if you love each other you don't have to show it the wole world in a ceremony.
E. (girl), Cologne

I think getting married is not important if you have the true love, it does not matter.
F. (boy), Cologne

I think marriage is a nice thing but two people who marry must be very assured. In 50% the people will divorce later. When a baby is born before marriage than it can be a problem.
C. (boy), Cologne

I think marriage is not a waste of time, beacause when a man and a woman love each other they can marry, but only if they know each other very well. A marriage can hold people together, especially when they have kids. It is for the rest of your life.
J. (girl), Cologne

In my opinion, marriage is a good thing, but breakup too.
R. (boy), Cologne

In my opinion, I don't think marriage is a waste of time, because you can marry whom and when you want. It's so much nicer if you marry, and you can plan your own wedding. After your marriage you can plan for a little family and think about your future together.
V. (girl), Cologne

i think marriage is a decision for your whole life. Before you want to marry you should think about it carefully. But it´s beautiful to see when two people love each other. Everbody should know that there could be problems, too.
A. (girl), Cologne